Finding out you are pregnant is one of those "wow" moments. When you see the test result in front of you and you realise that life is going to change...and not just in the sense of having to sacrifice those ice cold gin and tonics!  It's either a good wow or an "oh sh*t" wow.
Imagine getting that result after a heartbreaking start to the year.....

WARNING- this doesn't make the best reading for hormonal mummies to be and mummies, but this is my story...

In May 2013 I gave birth to the beautiful Oliver at 25+6 weeks gestation.  Despite being a tiny 2lbs 1oz, Oliver got off to a good start, but at 7 weeks old he developed a condition called Necrotising Enterocolitis (NEC) which mainly affects preemies.  Oliver was rushed 40 miles to another hospital for surgery but lost most of his small intestine which meant he needed to be fed artificially through an intravenous infusion. His liver was so fragile this feed called TPN damaged his liver and at 6 months old we were told he needed a liver and small bowel transplant.  After waiting only 3 weeks for a transplant a donor became available and he luckily survived the major 11 hour operation.  We finally got to bring our boy home for the first time a week before his first birthday.  After 3 months at home, Oliver was readmitted with a condition called GVHD (graft vs host disease), a type of opposite rejection where his new organs realised the body they were in wasn't their own and so attacked it.  This started as a rash, which got progressively worse despite the wonderful Birmingham Children's Hospital trying every possible treatment.  Oliver then went on to develop numerous complications including going blind in his right eye, and after 21 months of hospital life, our lives took a dramatic turn when we very sadly lost him after 21 months.  Our lives had changed beyond all recognition as we took it in turns to juggle one of us being with Oliver in Birmingham Children's Hospital playing the role of parent and nurse, and the other keeping the normality at home for Ella our 7 year old.  You can read more about the little legend on my other blog here.


A very tiny Oliver and our first cuddle



And my bigger boy just weeks before he left us

So it was with mixed feeling that the test result appeared in front of me...we were in Portugal when it dawned on us that I might be pregnant, so we had a Sunday night mission when we got home to try and find somewhere that sold tests but the result was so feint I had to rush to Tesco the next morning for a Clearblue Digital before work!
We were both overjoyed, but were equally worried as it is not known why Oliver was born so early, s we are scared it could happen again....and also how would another child compare to our little superhero?
This of course was not helped by instantly turning into a hormonal cow-bag, getting the most hideous spots ever and the worst morning sickness of all my pregnancies.

But now 13+6 weeks, I'm pleased to say that my sickness is easing, a little bump is definitely appearing, and our scan has confirmed we have a healthy little wriggler in there....which is apparently the size of a lemon now.  A value size lemon or organic, I'm not so sure!

I'm looking forward to sharing my pregnancy journey with you all...the good bits and the not so glamorous bits!

FJ