Most of you reading this blog probably either have lovely bumps or cute little babies and toddlers, aka those who can't yet answer back... you just wait a few years.

As a mum of a 7 year old I am both blessed and cursed.  My daughter is an absolute treasure most of the time and undoubtedly the only good thing to come from my first marriage, but my goodness, does she test my patience at times.

Let's take a few basic everyday things for example


If me and Mr J are in the kitchen and we're discussing where we should go at the weekend, she's in the living room at this point watching some crap attitude filled american kids show on Disney Jr, she'll somehow hear us and will saunter into the kitchen "are we going to the zoo tomorrow?"

Compare that to a typical weekday morning- cue me "Go and brush your teeth and bring a hair bobble backdownstairs".  5 minutes later, she's still nursing a glass of orange juice at the table, I'm reminding her to go and do the above, and of course when she does finally go and do her teeth she forgets the hair bobble.


I can put her in the bath and go to put some washing away in another room to go back and she's fully immersed herself in a game of teachers which can last until she's shrivelled up like a prune.  We were on holiday in half term and whilst I sat on the sand in a cardigan she was leaping around in the waves, throwing sand as the waves came in which was something to do with aliens...apparently.

The flip side of this, is the joys of sending her to her fathers every fortnight where she comes back spouting "They don't give me breakfast" amongst others that we know are clearly untrue.  I even challenged it once with the stepmum and ended up looking an idiot!


Ask her about tropical birds and she can tell you loads.  I look at a bird and think "that's a parrot", she'll know exactly what type of parrot it is and say it to me like I am a complete moron.

Ask her what 2 x 5 is though,  and she'll tell you it's 9.  We've tried workbooks, games, using sweets and explaining maths until we go blue in the face and she's totally switched off.  Sometimes I have to just think "sod it, she's only 7" whilst other times I'm furiously googling to find a maths tutor!


Of course she knows EVERYTHING.  "I know" is her answer to most things.  Clearly not maths though smarty pants.

Diva in the making!


Being with my Mr J since she was 3, she's adopted his sense of humour and quick wit.  Take for example being in the car a couple of years ago, she spotted a not particularly attractive lady waiting at a bus stop and shouts out "Oi! Pig face"....the window was open and thankfully the traffic lights quickly changed.  You know when you shouldn't laugh, but you can't help it!

At home, it's me she targets.  "You know what she's like she says" to Mr J, shaking her head at me.  "I'm on his team" she says, sticking her tongue out at me.  Charming.


7 and self styled!

I'm pretty sure I wore what I was told until I was about 9.  Not this one, you tell her to get dressed on a weekend, and she comes down in an ensemble of her choosing, complete with handbag (sweets and a lip balm are her handbag essentials) and geek chic pretend specs.

We go shopping and I'll point clothes out for her and get turned down.  Choose something for myself "That's rank!" she shouts...whilst trying to tell me a pair of size 5 ladies shoes fit her.

So that's the fun and games of having a 7 year old.  Of course this is all balanced out with her still loving having cuddles and generally being very entertaining. 

It's the teen years I dread.  But then there's always prozac...or gin.


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