babyurbeautiful

It was only last night I had an epic meltdown - and we’re not talking from the heat.
Crashing down on me like the walls of Jericho it became evident just how pointless my evenings had become.
I sobbed onto a voice note to my darling friend (you’ll see the irony of this in a couple of pars)
Like most people my evening’s revolve around dinner, bath (for my 3-year-old), a spot of my guilty pleasure: Love Island (please don’t judge me, some of most intelligent female friends are also obsessed).
Then what do I do past 10pm?
There is the odd message to friends, a little scroll through the impeccably filtered lives on Instagram, I then have a nose at dating apps and feel disappointed (yeah, I’m even sadder than I thought!) and waste the next couple of hours on my phone while my beautiful boy lays next to me.
Inadvertently I found myself at a Dr Murad beauty launch for his new initiative the #EyesUp Campaign. Listening to his gentle american tones and warmth, it materialised that the event revolved around putting down your digital device and pledge to go #eyesup.
I’m honestly not inventing this. It was fortuitous I was even there, and I was glad I had made the effort and the schlep to be at the event held at The Institute of Contemporary Arts.
Murad is hellbent on educating and empowering people around the world about the danger of digital-only relationships, and the power of real-life human connection. As I looked around slowly to my friend (the same one I offloaded on) mouthing ‘O.M.G’, I realised our lives had been played out vicariously through our phones. I only know what she is doing through social media, and vice versa - and we very rarely pick up the phone to interact, let alone face to face - as much as I adore her. But this is where the digital revolution began; we’d much rather comment or like a pic to show our approval, and there were even the days when we used to ‘poke’ our friends just for attention. Now we barely interact at all and when we do - everything is for show for our social media lives.
At Murad their philosophy is that the irony of technological advancement is that we are more digitally connected than ever before, yet less connected to one another in meaningful ways.
So where does this intrinsically link to skincare?
The beauty bods at Murad believe that healthy, beautiful skin is a direct reflection of how you live your life. They believe that today we are faced with tremendous demands that our bodies have not evolved fast enough to handle. Technology allows us to work and communicate anywhere, but we feel pressurised to portray a social media perfection at all times.
My life is pretty perfect at times; I have a beautiful son and we have lots of adventures, a handful of  supportive and loyal friends, a wonderful loving family and you make your life what it is.
You choose what you do every day, you choose which path and direction you take. If you’re having a bad day take control of it and work out what will fulfil you (this is when I often reach for chocolate). Tonight I have eaten chocolate AND cake.
The Murad experts refer to the stress of modern living as Cultural Stress, which in a nutshell, is wearing us down and negatively affecting our skin, health and happiness.
Dr Murad himself has conducted numerous in-depth scientific studies and examined more than fifty thousand patients over many years , concluding that sustaining positive changes in well-being, relates to your overall happiness and truly shows in your face. In his epic speech he mentioned getting back in touch with your playful side and ask yourself “who are you now?” and “who were you at your core?” He guestimates that when you were at your prime, your skin was moist, there were no imperfections, you were exercising and less likely to get sick. Well, yes - I think this was around 29/30. I’d hit Bikram yoga twice a week to sweat out all those toxins, I saw my body tone up very quickly, I calmed down the boozing (with the odd blow-out) and was generally really enjoying myself and surrounding myself with fun and positive people.
Watching him speak I began to well up (yes, I’m due on any day) his home-hitting message was about how as a child if you stacked it there’s no judgement. You just pick yourself up, laugh and carry on (probably after a little grizzle)
To be fair, if I stack it these days I’m probably the only person who guffaws while everyone looks on and wonders who the twat on their arse is. Although I am quite a positive person and think I just lift people naturally - it’s not an act, it’s just me. I, like anyone, have my bad days and spectacular breakdowns (usually one week before ovulation) but, as Murad himself says, smile - a smile costs nothing.
Disconnect that phone and start with Connected Beauty. Here are the key points for Murad’s whole-person approach to beauty:
Nourish Your Skin - use efficacious skincare to strengthen and protect skin, the first line of defence for every cell in the body
Eat Your Water - consume a balanced diet centered on water-rich fruits and vegetables to help cells lock in hydration (lets be honest very rarely do we drink 2 litres a day)
Awaken Your Body - Participate in physical activities that brig you joy to build muscles. Here Dr Murad said not to force yourself into exercise for the sake of it but do something you actually enjoy.
Be Kind to Your Mind - Manage the stress of modern living and cultivate emotional self-awareness to help cells stay hydrated. Think of stress as a vacuum sucking away any hydration and damaging your overall look leaving you haggard and lacklustre.
If you want to join the #EyesUp revolution visit www.EyesUp.com.
Going “Eyes Up” doesn’t have to be a complete lifestyle change. It’s all about making little edits to your day that make a big difference to your overall well-being. I think with me this is going to be a long process, starting with averting my eyes to a tangible book (not an e-reader), and getting motivated to walk into that yoga class and enjoy it - I’m currently nervous of judgement that I’m useless and will be using the baby analogy - if I fall on my arse, everyone will laugh with me.

MURAD.CO.UK

Cuteness overload - the Skin god himself!

I'm single, I have been for a year and a half, and although I haven't wanted to dine out on it in a 'woe me' kinda way, some of us - despite being married or with baby daddy, still feel very, very alone. Yet I AM alone. 

I always joked 'Oh imagine if I ended up a single mum!' Now look at me, a deliriously happy one minute, miserable as sin the next. 

I was always the girl in relationship after relationship. In hindsight, I probably never gave myself time to heal. 

After my son was born - a lot more than my heart needed healing - and I think that was the problem. 

I have never ever got over the shock of birth - the pain, pah, that was nothing! I'd rather do that ten times over, than have a wax. I'm sorry, but the pain of a wax is ridiculous, if gas was available I may reconsider my answer. But just the unexpected, the episiotomy, the unknown - everything.

It was a lot more about what happened to my body physically, pathetic I know. That's the least of your worries as a mum after hoofing a child out, and yes, the bastard that I am was back in size 10 jeans (albeit jelly belly on top), but it's more now - I can't bear the thought of someone seeing me not being as taut and perky as I was. The ever prevalent spare tyre due to the love of donuts, biscuits, chocolate (mum staples) is still hanging about (for want of a better word) two years down the line - although I've got really good at shoe-horning it into my skinny jeans.

After birth my hormones went haywire, lack of sleep turned me into permanent grot-bags. Then to top it off I became insecure about my body, despite escaping mainly with bashed up bits.
The breasts I had that were initially small, were even more gnat bite-ish after childbirth/breastfeeding. My super perky booty was more troubled than taut (and I felt like I was shitting glass for at least a month) and well, I sort of fell out of love with myself too.
No one has since seen any of the above. Yes, really.
But worst of all - I've got no one to bloody cry/moan to or quite simply take my rage out on.

I remember back to the exhilaration of leaving hospital 3 days after birth and feeling more alive and pumped than ever, yet the incessant feeling that soon crept up on me that I was too tired to function after a 16 hour birth, two days mini contractions and spending the early hours in the bath scooping water over my bump, listening to whale sounds and wallowing like a hippo - I don't think you ever catch up, and the difference is I have no one to 'spot me'.

But on a positive, the pleasant surprise is I've developed this inherent and innate knack of being a mum, despite knowing f-all or never having much experience around children. (Although they always seemed to like me). I still think every day it's only me the poor little sod has got to answer to.

I hate the term MILF, (even if it is from the fit 25-year old rugby-esque lad down the pub trying to get me home with him, and no, I wouldn't) - but I think I hate the 'single mum' tag that little bit more. It always makes me feel a bit pathetic.
I should look at the positives though: I have a great network around me - and I'm doing it..On.My.Own.
I am winning at life, and I've managed 2 1/2 years while juggling a job. Yay me!

I've tried to make something more of my evenings and be productive; like blog, catch up on general mum life, tv, things to keep me sane, rather than trawling through Facebook
and feeling worse at snippets of everyone's impeccably filtered life.
Social media as a whole, is pumped full of birth announcements, engagements, perfect family life, mummy and daddy days out, prestige white baby gros (funny, all of his white ones are now a fetching korma hue).
While my personal favourite and most liked pic is the one of my son treading in his own squishy shit.



The Mum Mafia, like: Dress Like a Mum, Mother of All Lists, Mother Pukka, Steph Don't Buy Her Flowers, My Milo and Me on Instagram are fantastic are keeping my pecker up, and aren't always posting things with rose tinted glasses. Yes, they've become insta-sensations, but by no means are thrusting it in other mother's faces - more like inspiring us. They share all the highs and lows of parenthood and offer their motherly support in modest imagery that tickles me A LOT and makes me feel part of a cool gang where we're all laughing through our parenting highs and lows.

I gave myself a terrible eye infection a while back, as somehow I managed to get my son's crap in my eye after one of those rushed nappy change I-am-going-to-cry-through-the-whole-ordeal-because-I-want-hot-milk-two-minutes-ago demand moments. I refer to the chapter as 'poop-eye'.
It wasn't pretty.

Being the only single one in a group of happy couples can be tough, however lovely everyone is. Even attractions and days out could be a very different experience with a plus one, which would always help to take the edge off the bitch fits (him, not me).
Just having someone to get up at night, or give a different perspective/play-time - to give me a break when I'm ill (thanks my mummy for being that plus one at times).
But I've made that choice - that's how we're doing it in this household.

Whether in or out of a relationship being a mum is very lonely at times, I get that.
I live with a 2-year-old dictator: 'Fix it.' and 'Don't like it' is always great for morale. But when he sees his evening milk and knows that cues bedtime and cheerily charges up the stairs and is settling down within 10 minutes. I know I'm shit hot. I did that!
I persevered at the bedtime routine and I won (ok, there was two weeks of teething where he ended up in my bed, foot in my ear all night etc but we'll skim over that part).

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